The first time he really smiled

It was a Tuesday. I had been up three times. The kitchen was a mess, the bottle warmer was beeping, and I was wondering if I was cut out for any of this.

Then he looked at me. Not through me, at me. And he smiled. A real one, with eyes and everything.

I sat down on the floor and cried. Not sad tears. The kind that come when your life suddenly makes sense in a way it never did before.

Nothing else has compared since. But I'm keeping notes, just in case.